Misery
by DefunctHooligan
Summary: An AU where Ashfur is able to successfully kill Squirrelflight and the three, but he has to live with the guilt of doing so. Strange things also end up happening to him, terrifying him as he attempts to adjust back to normal Clan cat after the forest fire happened.
1. Chapter One

The ThunderClan camp was deadly silent as all the cats sat, gathered tightly together. Ashfur was amongst them, sitting next to Ferncloud and Cloudtail. Firestar was on high-ledge with Sandstorm leaning against him. Both of their expressions were full of sorrow and despair, but Firestar was the one who did his best to look strong still after the events that happened. If the silence continued, he assumed that Firestar would crack open with what he was feeling. Firestar opened his mouth, breaking the silence finally.

"Cats of ThunderClan, I know we are still mourning the deaths of my daughter, Squirrelflight, and her children, Lionblaze, Jayfeather, and Hollyleaf. The search patrols are still unable to find their bodies, but after this period of time, we have come to the conclusion that all of them must have been caught in the fire and died there," he spoke, his voice shaking a bit as he tried to talk to his Clan professionally.

As Firestar kept on speaking, Ashfur glanced to the side, seeing Squirrelflight's sister and the ThunderClan medicine cat, Leafpool, sitting there. She had a disheartened and distressed expression on her face as her head drooped down. She could only stare down at her paws and have her ears bent back as she listened to her father speak. It appeared that the passing of these cats deeply troubled Leafpool more than Ashfur thought originally. She looked completely miserable knowing Squirrelflight was dead, but she seemed to be in more distress when the names of her sisters' kits were mentioned by Firestar. Ashfur couldn't stand looking at Leafpool anymore, and his gaze shifted back on Firestar, who grieved for the passing of Squirrelflight.

Ashfur remained silent. The fire alone wasn't what killed Squirrelflight's kits. It was him. He purposely let them burn alive when the fire happened. He made Squirrelflight watch every heartbeat of it. He can still hear the three screaming out in pain as the flames licked at their legs and consumed them whole. Squirrelflight, out of sheer terror, attacked Ashfur, but he was easily able to overpower the distressed ginger she-cat. Ashfur left the scene, letting their bodies burn and be unfound. At first, Ashfur didn't feel bad. In fact, he felt great. He never felt better in his life. Ashfur calmly made his way to where the rest of ThunderClan cats, acting along with the rest of his Clanmates. When Squirrelflight and her children didn't appear, he acted surprised and concerned like everyone else, easily blending in. But now, he felt himself feeling guilty over it.

_They deserved it, and you know it. This is for the best,_ Ashfur told himself always.

He wasn't supposed to feel this bad after killing them. Cats have killed others before, and they were able to do it without feeling any drop of regret. That should have been the same case for Ashfur, but it wasn't. He felt _real_ bad for ever doing it. The first cat he ever loved was now gone, and it was because of him. How come so many other cats can kill with ease, but he can't? The looks that Leafpool and Firestar made him feel worse.

His upset look wasn't acting. It was real. Ashfur told himself that his guilt will go away soon enough. He'll feel nothing toward them in a couple of days. Besides, he was very clever about how he got rid of Hollyleaf, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze. Not a single trace of him was left on them. Even if the search patrols manage to find their burnt bodies, there would be no way to point their cause of death at him. And he made sure to have Squirrelflight's body never found again. There would be no way ThunderClan found out about what he really did.


	2. Chapter Two

The next day has passed, and Ashfur decided to pay the medicine cat a visit. He thought it would be for the best to get on her good side in case some cat decided to visit her in her dreams and blab on that he was the one to murder her sister. Maybe he could end up talking his way out of it, making Leafpool believe him. Plus, he did assume the brown tabby would feel lonely without her sister and apprentice. Ashfur entered the medicine den, feeling awkward. It felt like he shouldn't be here, but he continued on.

"Um, hello, Leafpool," Ashfur meowed.

The medicine cat's head hung low. Her once bright amber eyes stared down at the ground as her tail wrapped around her legs. The gray-furred tom opened his mouth to speak again, thinking she must have not heard him. He quickly closed his mouth when he saw Leafpool's head raise up. She turned back to look at him. The brown tabby she-cat looked surprise to see Ashfur here.

"Oh, hello, Ashfur. Is there anything you need?" Leafpool asked in a dull voice.

"Nothing. I just wanted to check on you. I saw how distressed you looked yesterday, and I understand why, but I wanted to see if you're okay," he explained.

Leafpool responded, "There's no reason to do that. I'm fine.

He didn't believe a word she said. "You know, if you're upset, you can say something. Just because you have some high rank in the Clan, that doesn't mean you can't speak your mind if you're upset, especially with what happened."

Ashfur took a seat next to Leafpool, giving her an encouraging smile. He knew it was weird to be talking to Squirrelflight's sister right after murdering the ginger she-cat, but she hated seeing Leafpool this way. Besides, he started to feel bad about killing Squirrelflight and her kits. He didn't want to feel this way, but he did. He thought talking to Leafpool would make him feel better about himself.

Leafpool sighed. She spoke, "Yeah, I suppose you're right. It's just hard knowing that Squirrelflight and m.. uh, her kits won't be around anymore. Squirrelflight and I have been so close for so long, and now she's gone. It feels like I barely was given the chance to speak to her. I know she's in StarClan, but I don't know if she'll ever speak to me. And her kits, they were just too young to die. I wished I was able to speak to Lionblaze and Hollyleaf more. They seemed like good cats. And I wish I was given the chance to apologize to Jayfeather. Thinking about it now, I have many things I want to tell him, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze."

Leafpool continued talking, and Ashfur listened. His eyes suddenly drifted to look behind him. Out in the camp's clearing, the tom saw a shadowy figure of a cat standing there. No one seemed to notice the figure. Its teeth were bared, its claws were unsheathed, and its fiery red gaze was on _him_. Once Ashfur looked over, the shadowy figure started walking toward the medicine den. Ashfur started panicking. The figure's pace started to speed up until it was breaking into a sprint.

"Ashfur?"

Leafpool's voice broke Ashfur out of his stare. The shadowy figure was gone. It must have been his mind playing tricks on him. His icy blue eyes looked back at the medicine cat. "Yes?" he meowed, trying to act like he wasn't panicking a couple of heartbeats again.

"You seem like a really nice cat. Squirrelflight didn't seem to like you, but from what the descriptions of you she said, you seemed like a changed cat," Leafpool told the warrior.

Ashfur replied, "You could say that."

"If you have the time this sunhigh, do you want to help me look for herbs? Whitewing volunteered to help me now that Jayfeather's gone, but to tell you the truth, she really isn't all that good when it comes to telling herbs apart and all that. I could use some extra help, and you seem nice," she said.

Ashfur answered, "Yeah, I'm free. I'll be able to help."


	3. Chapter Three

ThunderClan's camp was full of cats, and sunhigh was almost approaching. Before he felt camp with Leafpool and Whitewing, he decided to have some fresh-kill. He knew going out to camp to find herbs didn't take up a lot of energy no matter how long it took, but he just wanted some. He didn't have anything to eat yesterday, and frankly he was hungry in general. Ashfur picked up a plump brown-furred mouse. It was just what he needed. Sitting near the fresh-kill pile, he took a large bite out of the mouse. While he has eaten mouse before, this time, this one felt like the best thing he ate in his whole life. Ashfur took another bite, enjoying the taste. But as he chewed on the meat, he felt something squirming in his mouth. The squirming shocked him, making him spit out what he had in his mouth.

Ashfur looked down at the mouse and saw maggots in it, squirming slowly. They climbed out from the inside of the mouse onto its fur. Ashfur yelped as he jumped back, standing up. His blue eyes stared down at the maggot-infested mouse. He couldn't believe it. Ashfur started to breath heavily as he felt squirming still in his mouth. Oh StarClan, they were still in his mouth, crawling and doing whatever maggots did. The tom felt like vomiting as he stayed frozen in place. The pile was full of only the freshest prey caught! How was this mouse already infested with those maggots?

"Ashfur?"

"Ashfur! What has gotten into you?"

The squirming in Ashfur's mouth went away when he suddenly snapped out of his fearful state. He looked up to see Spiderleg and Whitewing staring at him, confused and weirded out by Ashfur. The gray-furred tom glanced down at the mouse he was eating. The maggots were gone. He was only seeing things. They weren't real. He looked back up at the two cats.

"Are you alright there?" asked Whitewing.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I, uh, thought I saw some maggots in this mouse. That's all," Ashfur responded.

"Maggots?" the white-furred she-cat gasped. Her green eyes widened in surprise.

"Really? You thought there was _maggots_? For the love of StarClan, I just caught that! _All_ the fresh-kill's fresh!" shouted the long-limbed tom.

"I just thought I saw some. I didn't say there was any. Relax, Spiderleg," he replied.

"Whatever," Spiderleg grunted, stalking off somewhere in camp.

Whitewing commented, "I guess Spiderleg's just being grumpy again. Typical."

"What else do you expect from that tom? You expect him to be all sunshine and rainbows?" Ashfur said. Whitewing loudly giggled as a response to what Ashfur said.

"Well, since you're eating, I'll let you finish. I just wanted to tell you that Leafpool's outside of camp right now. She's about to leave. You should probably finish up that mouse right now," Whitewing told him.

Ashfur nodded, and Whitewing went ahead to run out of ThunderClan's camp. He looked down at the plump mouse that was half-eaten. He didn't feel very hungry anymore, but not wanting to waste any fresh-kill, he forced the rest of the mouse down his throat. Ashfur felt like throwing up, but he kept everything down. He then got up, walking toward the entrance of the camp.

What was going on? First, he saw some shadow of a cat sprinting toward him, ready to attack him, when he was in Leafpool's den. And now he had some vision of maggots in his fresh-kill while he was eating. Ashfur wanted to believe it was his mind messing with him as some twisted punishment for killing Squirrelflight and her kits, but a part of him told him it was something more. Whatever it was, Ashfur hated this feeling, even if it was some punishment against him. Ashfur wanted it to stop.


	4. Chapter Four

Ashfur padded out of ThunderClan's camp. He saw Leafpool and Whitewing standing right outside of the camp, waiting for him. The medicine cat looked over at him, giving him a warn smile as he approached the two she-cats. "Looks like we're all here now," she commented.

"So, Leafpool, what exactly are we looking for?" the white she-cat asked her.

Leafpool explained, "Well, we're currently low on horsetail, juniper berries, and mouse bile. I usually got the mouse bile, and when Jayfeather was around, he was the best at finding the other two. It just feels really lonely to go find herbs alone, and I can't stand the idea of doing this alone."

"I know you're probably already getting this a lot, but I'm sorry for your loss. I know how close you were to your sister and your apprentice," Whitewing meowed as she stepped closer to the brown tabby's side.

"Yeah, my apprentice... I wish I was given the chance to treat him better. I didn't know I was going to lose Jayfeather so soon. He was... like a, uh, son to me almost," Leafpool muttered, not looking at Whitewing as she spoke.

Whitewing continued, "If there was any cat behind them, then I hope they burn alive too and are dragged into the Dark Forest painfully!"

"Yeah," Ashfur simply responded. Oh StarClan, Whitewing only worsened his guilt over this.

"I doubted anyone would purposely let them die. And even if there, they would have already felt guilty enough to turn themselves in," Leafpool responded, just wanting the conversation about the deaths to end.

_ I wish I can just tell you, but I'm afraid how you'll respond. You would probably hate me if you knew._

"Anyways, I'll go look for the mouse bile. You two, go look for juniper berries and horsetail," Leafpool told them. Without another word, Leafpool padded off, leaving Ashfur and Whitewing behind. The medicine cat gave one look back at the two before leaving them alone.

"Well, I'll go look for horsetail since I know where it is. Are you fine with getting the juniper berries?" Whitewing said.

"Yeah."

"I guess I'll be going then."

Whitewing ran off, and Ashfur was alone once again. He had an idea where the juniper berries were, but he wasn't an expert in finding them. Ashfur padded to where he last saw juniper berries, and indeed, the bush was still there doing just fine. Ashfur took a step closer. Leafpool didn't say how many she needed, but Ashfur assumed that she needed plenty. After all, why would she be gathering juniper berries if she had no use for them? That would be wasteful. Ashfur decided that he would just get as many as he could carry. That should be enough.

Ashfur grabbed one of the thin branches with his mouth, and he gently tugged at it, attempting to break it off from the rest of the branch. As he did this, Ashfur's mind started to drift off. He thought back to when the fire occurred. Why did he do it? Yes, he did it because he loved Squirrelflight and was full of rage, but Ashfur knew there was more. He could have just had a grudge against Squirrelflight and never talk to her, but no, he had to take the extreme route and kill her and her kits. Why?

He thought revenge was supposed to be good. It was meant to feel great, and that was how he felt as an apprentice when he helped get revenge against the dogs that killed his mother. Firestar implied revenge was the only way to make him feel good again, and it did. Ashfur thought he could feel again if he got revenge against Squirrelflight in the same way, and well, he didn't feel better. He felt worse. Perhaps Firestar lied to him. Maybe revenge didn't make a cat feel good, or it only made a cat feel good if it's against someone truly evil. Even if he was angry at Squirrelflight, she wasn't evil. She was only interested in another tom that wasn't him, and he was blinded with rage. There was a chance the two could have been good friends instead of mates, but now he'll never know.

Ashfur was snapped out of his thoughts by a loud high-pitched chirp. The gray-furred tom jumped with fright, pulling out the branch with juniper berries on it. He dropped the thin branch. He looked up and saw a bluejay sitting in a nearby tree branch. Oh, that was what spooked him.


	5. Chapter Five

It was only a bluejay that spooked him. It was only a harmless bird. Ashfur took a deep breath, calming back down. The gray she-cat looked back down at the thin branch of juniper berries. Before he could pick up the branch, he heard a loud chirp that almost sounded like a screech almost. Ashfur lifted up his head to look at the bluejay. It was continuously chirping, but it wasn't random birdsong. No, the bluejay was actually speaking words he understood.

"Ashfur...Ashfur...Ashfur."

It kept on saying his name. Ashfur could only stare in complete shock. This definitely wasn't normal from what he knew. Birds couldn't talk. He was even told this when he was an apprentice. Why was this bluejay talking now? And why was it saying his name? Did the bluejay overhear his name being said? Ashfur did hope that was the case.

The bluejay continued, "Ashfur...Ashfur did it! Ashfur killed the three in cold blood. He also killed Squirrelflight who he loved! He killed them all and got away with it. He'll never confess! "

Ashfur jumped as he listened to what the bluejay had to say about him. His eyes darted around him. No one was nearby, but he worried the bluejay's singing would be too loud. He didn't want anyone to hear the bluejay. Ashfur's blue eyes were weird. The bluejay paused and looked at him, staring him deep in the eyes. It then looked away and continued with its birdsong.

"Ashfur killed all of them! He let Jayfeather, Lionblaze, and Hollyleaf burn, and he used his own claws to murder Squirrelflight."

_Well, if it's speaking in my tongue, then it must understand me! _Ashfur thought.

"Please, quiet down. I don't want anyone to hear. I promise I won't do it again. I don't know why you're doing this, but please stop," Ashfur meowed to the bluejay, pleading.

The bluejay didn't listen. Ashfur knew it understood him, and it was listening, but it didn't care what the tom had to say. The bluejay continued singing, repeating its words but louder. Ashfur started to panic even more as the bluejay went on. He couldn't let anyone know. If one cat knew, he knew they would tell the rest of the Clan. He couldn't risk it.

"Please!"

"Ashfur killed all of them! Ashfur killed all of them!"

Words weren't going to get this bluejay to stop. Out of fear, Ashfur pounced up at it, swiping his claws. The bluejay was able to jump up and dodge his attack. Every time Ashfur missed, the bluejay only became louder and louder. He had to stop it. He hoped Leafpool and Whitewing weren't close enough to be able to hear. He couldn't let them know at all.

With all the strength he had, Ashfur jumped up, using both of his front paws to swipe the bluejay down to the ground. The bluejay tried to continue singing, but Ashfur muffled it with his paw. Without any hesitation, Ashfur bit down on the bird's neck, killing it and silencing it from its song. He took a step back, breathing deeply as he stared at the bluejay.

"Ashfur?" he suddenly heard Leafpool. Ashfur froze, licking the bluejay's blood from his mouth.

"Are you done? You've been taking a long time," Leafpool called out.

It appeared Leafpool didn't hear what the bluejay had to say. That relieved Ashfur deeply. He looked down at the dead bluejay. Swiftly, Ashfur kicked the earth on top of the bluejay, covering it and hiding it from sight. Ashfur grabbed the thin branch of juniper berries. It was surprisingly still apart and not broken into two pieces.

Leafpool called his name again, "Ashfur?"

"Coming! I got a little distracted!" Ashfur shouted back.

He padded forward. As he did, Ashfur glanced back at where the bluejay was buried. A black-furred cat stood near it, looking down at the lump in the earth. The shadowy cat with stars in her pelt then looked up at him, her shiny green eyes staring at him. Ashfur saw a look of disappointment on her face before he vanished through the bushes.


	6. Chapter Six

Once he returned back to camp with Leafpool and Whitewing, he immediately placed the herbs and rushed out into the dirtplace. While it smelled, he knew he would have some time of privacy there for now. Cats rarely ever came during this time, so Ashfur knew he was fine. He passed back and forth, thinking back to what he saw. It seemed crazy, but every heartbeat with the bluejay felt real. He felt like he was going mad every second he kept himself silent about what he did to Squirrelflight and her kits. He knew he would be horribly punished if he admitted to what he knew. Firestar was Squirrelflight's father after all. If he figured out what happened. Firestar would surely be enraged.

Ashfur suddenly felt something squish under his paws. He paused and looked down, seeing he stepped on. A shiver was sent down his spine as he saw what he stepped on. It was a holly berry. The image of Hollyleaf was sent to his head. He quickly shook the remaining berry off his paw and stormed back into ThunderClan's camp. He didn't know how long he could deal with this rush of guilt.

Acting as casually as he could, he walked through the Clan's camp. Whenever a fellow Clanmate looked at him, Ashfur simply waved his tail as a quick greeting before moving on. The tom immediately went to the medicine den. Leafpool was in her den, sorting out the herbs like she typical did. The medicine cat didn't seem to notice Ashfur walking in.

"Leafpool?"

Leafpool lifted up her head, finally noticing the gray-furred cat in her den. "Um, yes?"

"Do you mind if I, uh, ask for some advice?" Ashfur questioned.

Leafpool caused for a second, blinking as she looked at Ashur. The she-cat then responded, "Oh, sure. That's fine."

Ashfur sat down next to Leafpool as she set aside what she was originally doing. "So... I did something I really feel guilty about. And it's something kind of bad."

Leafpool gasped, "What did you do?"

"I, uh, did something mean to another cat."

"Was it Birchfall? I thought I saw him staring at you weirdly. Really wasn't sure what that was about," Leafpool asked, looking a bit more relaxed.

"Yep."

"Oh, alright then. So what's the advice you need exactly?"

Ashfur explained, "I feel _really_ guilty, but I'm afraid to confront the truth to him. I don't know what will happen, and that's what terrifies me greatly. I'm scared at what will happen if I actually admit that I was in the wrong. I want to think I was right, but I just know I'm lying to myself."

Leafpool tilted her head up, pondering on what the ThunderClan warrior told her. She sighed then meowed, "I remember my old mentor, Cinderpelt, told me this. She said that even if there was an evil cat who did many things secretly, if he admitted to it and apologized, even StarClan would forgive him. It's those who blind themselves and think they're right are truly evil. Ashfur, you may feel bad, but as long as you admit it, even if you're practically screaming the truth, I don't think Birchfall will hold anything against you. I think he'll accept the apology. I don't know what you said, but if you did something bad and apologized to it honestly, I would forgive you."

A warm smile appeared on Ashfur's face. While he didn't actually say anything to Birchfall, Leafpool's words were lovely to hear at a time like this. The only thing he disagreed with was what Leafpool said at the end. If Ashfur really did admit to what he did during the thunderstorm to Squirrelflight and her kits, he doubted Leafpool would be so quick to forgive him for just admitting he was wrong to do what he did.


	7. Chapter Seven

Night was starting to come, and all the Clan cats were starting to settle into their dens. Ashfur was one of the last cats to enter the warriors' den. He was too deep in thought to even think about sleeping. How could he? He felt like he was going crazy throughout the entire day, but as Ashfur went into the warriors' den, he felt satisfied that it was coming to an end. But Leafpool's words still stuck with him. He didn't like Leafpool's response the more he pondered on it, but they were strong enough to stick with him. Her words were like an illness. It clings onto you no matter how much you dislike it, but perhaps that feeling will go away some time later or with the assistance of something else.

Ashfur curled up in his nest, resting his head on his front paws. The tom glanced around, and as he glanced at the four empty nests in the den, he could have sworn he saw the ones he killed laying in their nest. He shook his head, and they disappeared from his vision. Ashfur sighed. Despite what Leafpool said, he knew he couldn't admit to what he did. He could never. Ashfur would never admit to what he did on his own, especially with cats like Leafpool, Firestar, and Brambleclaw around. Maybe he would confess one of these days. He wasn't sure.

The mutters from the warriors' den started to quiet down. The whole den went silent as he drifted off to sleep. Keeping his eyes closed, Ashfur shifted around a bit, adjusting his body and where he laid his head. Suddenly, he heard a loud cry. He flinched and opened his blue eyes. He looked around the den. No one else was there with him. He was alone. A confused expression appeared on Ashfur's face. All the other warriors were just there a couple of seconds ago.

Ashfur stood up, and he heard the same bloodcurdling cry again. A shiver was brought down his spine, but he somehow forced himself to leave the den and into the Clan's camp. He was able to look into the apprentices' den and the nursery, and no one was in there. Same went for the elders' and Leafpool's den. Ashfur only had one den he didn't check- Firestar's den. Ashfur silently crept toward the leader's den and peered in.

Ashfur gasped as his blue eyes looked into the den to only see a large, thick-furred lion. His gasp caught the attention of the lion. The golden-furred lion turned his head to look at Ashfur. His amber eyes stared deeply at him as his lip curled into a snarl. Ashfur shrieked as he ran away, going toward the middle of the camp. He felt his paws run into something. He froze for a second, breathing heavily, before he decided to look down. In front of his paws was Squirrelflight's dead body, blood dripping from the open slash from her neck. The ginger-furred she-cat was limp on the ground, and her leafy green eyes were extremely wide.

"Ashfur killed Squirrelflight, the cat whom he loved! He let her kits burn alive in cold blood! And he'll never admit to his crimes!"

Ashfur looked up to see the same blue jay from before, singing loudly. "No...no..." he gasped.

"You killed them. You killed _us_. And you won't admit to it. You want to be right. You _need_ to be right. But all you are is just a pathetic, weak cat."

Ashfur whipped his head around. Behind him was a shadowy cat slowly walking toward him. The cat's glowing green eyes stared into his blue eyes. Ashfur cowered in fear. He felt completely vulnerable as if he couldn't defend himself. The shadowy cat then started to run toward him, leaping up to pounce at him.

The shadowy cat hissed, "You'll never get away with this!"


	8. Chapter Eight

Ashfur woke up with a jolt, his jaw dangling open in shock. It was just a dream. He looked outside the den. It was morning already. But he started to hear the jay's song again, and it was very loud. As Ashfur's blue eyes scanned around the den, he saw that the other warriors could clearly hear the same song as he did. Their eyes were wide, and their expressions varied from being disgusted to surprised. The song sounded different though, and no jay was around to be singing it.

"I killed them all! I let her kits burn alive! And I killed Squirrelflight, letting her body burn until it was only ashes!"

That was then he realized the song was coming out of his own mouth. He was shouting it. Maybe it was guilty conscious that made him do it, but he didn't stop. Ashfur could have stopped himself from shouting what was, but he didn't want to stop. He hated what he said, but he knew he had too. He began to remember what Leafpool told him yesterday. Well, he was speaking the truth now.

No one looked at him in a positive light. Many of the warriors had disgusted looks on their face as they looked at him. Brambleclaw had his lip curled back in a snarl, and his amber eyes glared aggressively at him. It felt like Brambleclaw would pounce toward him, shredding the gray-furred cat to pieces. Firestar and Leafpool both were looking into the den, overhearing Ashfur's shouts. Firestar's expression was a combination of sorrow and rage. His claws dug into the ground as he slowly pushed his way into the warriors' den. Leafpool remained outside of the den though. She had a look of betrayal as she froze in place. The medicine cat didn't know what to do. A cat who she became close friends with in a short time was now chanting how he killed her own sister. Ashfur seemed to comfort the brown tabby over who she lost, but this whole time, he was the killer.

His own Clanmates started to circle around him, but it wasn't like Ashfur planned on running away. He knew he had to face his punishment. Ashfur glanced outside the warriors' den again, and he saw four translucent cats with stars in their pelts. Those cats were Squirrelflight, Lionblaze, Jayfeather, and Hollyleaf, and they sat around Leafpool who was still frozen in sorrow and shock. Lionblaze had his lip curled back in a snarl like his father, and his eyes also glared at Ashfur with disgust. Jayfeather could only stare in his direction with a blank look. No emotions were present on his face. Hollyleaf wore a smirk on her face as she also glared at the gray-furred tom like Lionblaze was. Then there was Squirrelflight. Her tail was curled around Leafpool, even though the medicine cat couldn't feel her sister's comfort. She had a warm smile on her face as she leaned toward Leafpool. Her bright green eyes stared at Ashfur tauntingly. Ashfur looked away from them.

He knew his punishment would be bad. Perhaps he would be exiled from ThunderClan, or he could be killed. It had to be either of those. The tom knew it, but Ashfur knew he deserved whatever punishment ThunderClan would give him. He felt bad. He remembered when he first met Hawkfrost before his attempt to off Firestar with him, the RiverClan told him that killing those who have wronged you was meant to feel good. And when Ashfur was an apprentice, Firestar told him revenge was what made a cat feel good. Both of those things ended up not being true for Ashfur. Maybe it was because in order to feel good about revenge, the other cat had to deserve it, and Squirrelflight and her kits didn't deserve what happened to them.

Well, he at least he knew he was going to StarClan.


End file.
